No Fliers, Please

Here's a picture of my staff.

The toy singing birds are assigned to amuse me while I write. The tin giant ladybug sometimes holds a fragrant candle to stimulate my subconsciousness.

As you might guess, none of them can type.

Nor, for that matter, can I, except for the old hunt-and-peck method.

Alas, us bloggers are starting to get many more fliers and press releases than we can deal with. I will state flatly that my blog is geared toward city news gathered at meetings that the rest of you find too boring to attend. I also like to splash a lot of flowers pictures around to vaunt my green thumb.

If I were still in the newsroom, I would be at the mercy of any editor who thrust a gaudy flier at me and said, "Here, write this up." I would then take the bits of information and create sentences.

But since I am the boss of me as a blogger, I do not want to transform fliers into brief articles. I repeat, in LOLcat: DO NOT WANT!

Get it?

Dan and Dottie list events, but others of us do not. You may keep sending fliers and press releases willy-nilly to Plaintalker, but don't expect me or my staff to toil over them.

Sometimes an editor drops me one of the same fliers or press releases by e-mail and then I have the option of making sentences out of them for print publication. That is a different proposition. It is called "freelancing" and involves getting paid for my talents. I can still do it at home in my jammies, but it is paid work.

So there you have it. Plaintalker doesn't do fliers or press releases. My staff and I aspire to offer original writing that you won't get anywhere else (unless Dan puts a link to it on his blog).

Bloggers. Mysterious creatures we are, no two alike. Those seeking publicity for their causes are directed to the content posters among us or to the legacy media that open their maws daily for your offerings.

My staff and I thank you for your cooperation.

--Bernice Paglia