Buy Laughing

A small ad in The New Yorker caught my eye recently and reminded me of a great place to go shopping. I was also grateful that they have not sent me multiple catalogues, as major retailers have done this gift-giving season.

The company is called The Unemployed Philosophers Guild and I did purchase a silk Emily Dickinson scarf from them several years ago. It comes in handy to have poetry around your neck ready for reading when a public meeting gets really boring.

I just looked at their web site and it made me laugh almost as much as my daily fix of LOLcats. Guess whose picture is on a tin of National Embarrassmints (hint: he's also on Impeachmints). Pour some tea into your Civil Rights mug and watch them disappear, "thanks to the Patriot Act," the catalogue says. The "Bush-its Sticky Notes" kit includes one pad labeled "Mission Accomplished."

Sigmund Freud looms large in the offerings. Need a pair of Freudian slippers? There are also collections of Frida Kahlo, Shakespeare, Einstein and Van Gogh items.

My other favorite shopping guide is Not Martha, although I am not much of a shopper.

Thanks to the avalanche of catalogues, I will have to take time out of my busy schedule of scribbling diatribes and propagating plants for next summer to call those toll-free numbers and advise those retailers to BACK OFF! I don't want your lousy $400 briefcases and pricey sequined party get-ups! If I haven't bought anything from the last six catalogues you sent, take the hint! Bah! Humbug!

--Bernice Paglia